Hairy Potter: Revised Version

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Hairy Potter. He lived with his aunt and uncle and his cousin. His cousin, Ugly, was very mean to him. He bit Hairy and hit and punched and kicked him, just like a girl I once knew.(And still do.) One day, flying monkeys came crashing through his window, dropping letters everywhere. They said, that he could go to a school where he could learn magic. It also said that he would have to save the world, and that sounded like fun, so he left.

In his first year, he had to battle this weird guy in a turban, so that he wouldn't use a rock to stay alive forever, and bring back a guy called Lord Pulldawart. He got the rock, but the guy who had made it died of shock that a guy with a turban had been touching his rock.

In his second year, he met this crying doll in a closed girls bathroom,(don't know why he was in there...) and the reason she cried, was that she was so stinky, that the bathroom closed. He also had to fight a giant snake, but that's not very important.

In his third year, he found out that his defense against the dark farts teacher, Professor Poopin', turned into a teddy bear every time there were 100,000 stars in the sky. He also freed his god father, Serious White, from the wizard prison, asksusan.

His fourth year, he got to play in the Pie Lizard Tournament, even though he didn't sign up. And apparently dark lords aren't satisfied until somebody cuts their hand off, because Lord Pulldawart came back to life.

In his fifth year, he joined a club called the order of the Mean Ticks, where they went and tried to kill Lord Pulldawart, but couldn't.

In his sixth year, he got to go to the beach with his headmaster, Tumblefloor. Hairy got to kiss a girl, and then they got attacked by dead people, but Tumblefloor saved them by using his magic stick to throw fireballs at the zombies. Tumblefloor sadly got killed by his friend, Nevertrust Snape.

In his seventh, last, and final year, he decided to ditch school, with his friends, Hermoinepeed Stranger and Ron Weasel, to see if he could stop Lord Pulldawarts. They went t0 see his dead parents at the cemetery, and saw an old lady. They were never taught to ignore strangers, and went into her house. right when they walked in a snake came out of her mouth and attacked them. They poofed away to the school, which was on fire for some reason. Hairy saw this as his chance to save the world and kicked Pulldawarts butt by using Tumblefloors magic stick. He grew up and lived happily, ever after.